yesterday, i made the mistake of asking ryan if i looked old. i asked him if i was looking especially wrinkley lately. he chuckled. then he said, "well, we ARE getting old. we're not exactly spring chickens anymore". not exactly the reassurance i was looking for.

that was ryan's sarcastic comment when i put on, one of my many shades of nude, lipstick. men just don't understand sexy.

so, thanks for the tough love an. i realized that this is what my hair would really look like with that cut.

more iowan, less french. (no offense sweater model!)

ok, i'm not going into the boring deets but i'm on day one of that "best life diet" that oprah used to do. my goal is to lose 20lbs, ugh, and the worst part is there's no drinking vino for a month. i'm gonna give it the ol' college try, but keep in mind i'm a college drop out.

something exciting, one of the chicks from the y (a skinny bitch who teaches spin, okay, she's not a bitch at all. just skinny and like 6 months prego and still teaching spin, so i hate her just a little, but i shouldn't because...) she's bought like 4 of my initial necklaces and has now sent all her friends to me, so i keep getting orders. super exciting. the downside is, i gave them to her for a good price and now i feel bad raising the prices on her friends, so i'm not, but i should.

and just so you didn't think i was getting to optimistic in life, here's a little rant about the sun. it's another beautiful day, BUT all the sun makes evident every speck of dirt, dust, carpet stain, wall smudge in my house. i'm feeling grossed out. now i understand the concept of spring cleaning. you'd think a mother of three would've figured this out before, but i've never claimed to be bright. so now i must dig up some motivation to clean, clean, clean.

i'm tired already.

well, this new year has started off....well, with a fizzled out bang, i guess. i'm overwhelmed by the drama in my life right now and am wishing that i was making some of it up. the process of dealing with troy's death will take time,

jill and troy, shortly before his death.

but we're also dealing with another one of ryan's close friends being seriously injured in afghanistan, thankfully alive and with all his arms, legs, and eye's but seriously injured non-the less. (he is an anthropologist who was hired by the government to ???), plus my parents are moving to TEXAS. i'm not sure which thing i'm most upset about! just kidding, just kidding. texas isn't as bad as it sounds. i will now have two of my closest friends and my parents living there. is this a sign? (please, no!) of course it's a huge state (smaller than alaska!!) so the driving distance between the people i love who live there will still be crazy. but if i could just get all the people i know and love to move to texas, it would still be easier to figure out how to see you all than it is now! sheesh. (an, you're on record as saying that you'd live in san antonio, don't think i've forgotten that.) my dad got a job as a biologist for a national wildlife refuge way, way, way down in southeast TX, close to the border on the gulf. his main job will be to track and protect the ocelot's. some sort of endangered wild cat.


(why is my life so boring, comparetively?)

my new's yrs resolution's are out the window, as i eat and excessively drink when i'm upset. i figure that it's allowed and i'll try again in a week or so. maybe i should just go by the chinese calendar this year. i did decide to do something FUN for ME this year. my oregonian stitch n bitch is just not happening in PA so now i'm considering becoming a member of this old theater that i really, really enjoy here and volunteering once a month. http://www.thecolonialtheatre.com/ my boss at the y volunteers at the sundance film festival every year(heads up ALL the volunteers there) and she is inspiring me to get more active with my interests. she's the sweetest lady you've ever met, but she's FEE-iarce too. i love it! she has worked at the y forever, starting in the babysitting room and now is second in command. probably doesn't sound super amazing, as it is an YMCA, but you haven't seen this YMCA. it's insane.

it was mary cassatt's (an artist from the 1800's) family summer home.

one of those crazy, feminist, impressionist artists. :)

ok, on a completely different note. did any of you see the new anthropologie catalogue? omg, i sooo am in love.

i think i want her haircut. i want to be french. i want to be skinny and ride a bike to the market to buy my baguette. convince me that i would look like a moron with that haircut, puhlease! i think i'm about to do something stupid.